But get this, she was perfectly fine with me being gay. You may find this blog article helpful. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you; been in a bit of a slump. I can't see any option but to just suffer in silence and get over it. My recollection of the immediate aftermath of coming out was a combination of grief, fear for the future and an immense relief that I could stop trying to be something that I just wasn't. Other Redditors have been fast to offer their advice:
When A Heterosexual Spouse Comes Out As Gay: 10 Surprising Reactions
I feel sorry for her and at the same time i hate her. She needs to move and she needs to get help. I am worthless, a whore, bad Mother, I made him this way. He might be gay or bi and not want to admit it to himself
I hope you understand that you are not alone and everything will be okay. Even when I make a point that he doesnt listen to me when I vent my feelings, he reponds with ,"Im sorry that your not mature enough to hear the truth Said he'd cancel them, I only had to say the word. I thought I was the only one. Once you are out to your wife, this huge burden will be off your chest.
I think you are right to take your time, there is no knowing exactly where to go from here. Of course, if there are kids involved in your relationship, this just isn't an option. No one can make the decision for me but at the moment it just seems too confusing and too hard to tackle so I pretend it's not there and just keep going. He travels a lot for business and you can't track his activities. For my own mental health I decided come out. That was something I always resented and wanted wanted passionate sex.